


The usual day

by heme



Series: Chemistry student Deidara [11]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26265445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heme/pseuds/heme
Summary: An example of Deidara's usual daily routine.
Relationships: Deidara/Sasori (Naruto)
Series: Chemistry student Deidara [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813744
Kudos: 6





	The usual day

**Author's Note:**

> moi sorry for the late update, my readers. Been stuck on some essays lately.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Update_1: Added a sentence which fell out.

Deidara was in the middle of a lecture.

The lecturer drabbled on and on – on subjects according to the teaching schedule assigned by the physical sciences division.

He had already self – studied the topic earlier the week, and the subpar explanations delivered by a person with subpar presentation skills could turn something understandable upside down into alien language.

And that was why, at the back of the lecture hall, there was a long – haired blond typing away an essay due three days later on his laptop regarding the topic of metalloenzymes.

Before a notification from his screen skipped out from the corner. On which it wrote:

“The Teahouse”  
Sasori Akasuna: where will you two be heading for lunch at 12?  
\- 10:28 AM

He clicked on the messenger, albeit not after saving the unfinished writing.

Deidara Iwa: dunno where will uchiha be  
but I’m running out of money  
a chicken sandwich from costco’s gonna do the job  
\- 10:29 AM

Sasori Akasuna: the reply came surprisingly fast, brat, even by my standards of disliking to wait. which means – are you in the middle of a lecture?  
\- 10:29 AM

Deidara Iwa: y  
\- 10:30 AM

Itachi Uchiha: If being financially tight is indeed the case, I will pay for Iwa’s lunch instead. My analysis lecture ends at half past eleven, and I will see both of you at the college hall at twelve.  
\- 10:31 AM

Making a silent fist pump at the opportunity of further ripping the Uchiha off, Deidara exited the chat with a smug smirk in favour of continuing his work.

The lecture was then dismissed after a while, and the blond made his way to the college hall along with the flood of exiting students.

Itachi was already there at the hall, sitting perfectly upright in his sour thumb gentleman sire mode near a bench. He continued his statue – like exhibit in place even after Deidara’s approach, and remained perfectly still throughout the entire attempt of the subsequent plucking of the Uchiha’s student card out from the table top.

There was a familiar glimpse of muzzy red at the other side, which Deidara scooted close at the sight and gave the corresponding person a whack on the backside.

And earned himself a reversed stomp on the foot, a complement from the victim.

Itachi’s passive look of “you deserved it, Iwa” only made the situation worse. It was akin to a fair pinch of salt and paprika sanded and seasoned onto fresh wounds. Once upon a high school time, courtesy of the same Uchiha once again, he shared a tip of cooking taken from a famous chef. When a run - of - the - mill layman and an experienced chef repeat the identical recipe, the chef's cooking were always the preferred simply because they have increased the amount of seasoning. Humans were biologically built to have an affinity for electrolytes and sugars.

“Stop laughing at me, Uchiha, un.”

“I did not even make a single noise, Iwa.”

Getting food with Itachi’s student card topped up with ridiculous amounts of money, yours truly financed by the entire Uchiha business, proved to be surprisingly easy for Deidara. He could now pay for savoury goodness from the French head chef of the college which he normally could not afford.

It was overrated to follow in Sasori – no – Danna’s footsteps with his one Caesar salad and one cup of milk. Overrated, like Itachi would say, in the English sense and not the mainland Germanic sense. And – it was even more overrated, or rather ‘underrated’, if applied into a German or Dutch context, to hear the Uchiha’s explanation on how and why should ‘Caesar’ be pronounced as ‘Kai-sar’ and not ‘See-sar’. In the Holy Name of Jashin, Itachi was a pure mathematics student, not a _Literae Humaniores_ student, though his knowledge of Latin and Greek was on par with the latter, for better or for worse.

“Good to see you on analysis again, Itachi.” Sasori sat down with his lunch.

The Uchiha was always overflowing with Uchiha – style coolness, in broad contrast with his cousin Obito, “I suppose the remark was merely a product of your bizarre fascination on the subject, Sasori. It is incredibly rare to encounter someone outside of the mathematical department who holds the same kind of enthusiasm as you. By the way, Iwa and Sasori, I have some news from Shisui that may interest both you.”

“Un?” Deidara squeezed out between mouths of bread and watercress soup.

“Kodak has decided to shift into becoming a pharmaceutical company.”

“Oh my Jashin, un.”

“Stop being stupid, brat. The deal was called off after the management was suspected of under the table dealings.”

“Even if the loan was successful, Sasori, I would doubt it would bring benefits to the company.” The raven peered at the engineering student, who was busy massaging his earholes due to once again, Deidara, “By the way, Iwa, it is interesting about the fact that you, an open anti – nationalist, is singing an Egyptian nationalist song.”

The blond flinched, abruptly stopping his obnoxious singing, which he coincidentally has forgotten to check out the context behind the lyrics, “How do you know, Uchiha?”

“I heard you singing the word ‘Alexandria’.”

Sasori lazily picked his fingers, “And brat, your Arabic is horrendous. It was making my ears bleed.”

Deidara was getting increasingly confused and jittery at the influx of information, “But you’re not from the Middle East, Danna, un. How the fuck do you know Arabic?”

“Have you not asked the same question before, brat? Chiyo’s job required her to move around countries as a visiting researcher, so I lived in Israel for six years.”

“I thought they speak Hebrew there, un.”

Itachi was clearly giving his trademark Uchiha distaste at the uncultured bastard sitting beside him, “Basic Arabic, along with Hebrew, are taught in schools over there, Iwa. However, returning to the previous topic, Kodak would not succeed in the hypothetical transition.”

“But didn’t they manufacture clinical Kodak Ektachem slides before, un?”

“Better replacements have emerged since long ago, Iwa. It is now quite canonical to judge the company as outdated.”

The redhead hummed in agreement and for something else, “Do you know how was I first exposed to the word ‘canonical’?”

“No, un.”

Sasori closed his half – lidded eyes and let out a yawn, stretching his back muscles, “Canonical ensemble.”

Deidara spluttered out several hacking coughs in succession.

“Yes, brat.” The engineering student had a maliciously innocent smile, “It’s _that_ canonical ensemble they teach you in statistical mechanics.” He took a sip out of his glass of milk, “Anyways, truth to be told, Itachi, I’m not surprised at the failure. Kodak entered the photography market when films were all the heat, but digitalisation of photos cemented their downfall.”

Itachi tapped on Deidara’s hand to signal and borrow two hair pins for his bangs, which should frame his head perfectly. It was becoming a nuisance during meal time, as they tend to drop into one’s food, “Indeed. To this day, Sasori, I am still quite amazed at the sheer cleanness behind the mechanism of file compression. I would have never thought of using a Fourier basis to describe colours.”

Throwing on a cover to become someone else who was better than one truly was, was deemed a simple task by Deidara. In addition, this would fuel his ego by providing satisfaction obtained from being judged as better, “Jordan was a great man, un. Inventing Gauss – Jordan elimination and Jordan block matrices at the same time.”

But the other two at the table replied simultaneously, one giving him the look of amusement and other the look of distain, “The two Jordans are not even the same Jordan.” Followed by either of the options from “Iwa” or “brat”.

In the aftermath, the chemistry student sweated down his forehead while flushing the same colour as Sasori – no – Danna’s hair. Flexing about his filmsy command of linear algebra in front of a mathematics undergraduate and a seasoned engineering student proved not to be such a great deal after all.

Deidara was not certain about which was the worse: Itachi’s supposedly helpful offer of tutoring him or his Danna lynching him for the rest of his undergraduate life using this fall.

Thinking of the devil, there was the raven swallowing half a mouth of tea, before continuing, “Iwa. You do not seem so well. Should I tutor you in linear algebra?”

“No, yeah!”

Sasori gave the blond an even more amused look, “Itachi, you should take that as a yes. Saves me from teaching the brat instead.”

“Thank you for the offer, Sasori. But as both of us clearly know, Iwa is truly a burdensome creature. So I am afraid the answer will be a negative.”

Deidara snapped back, nearly tossing his coffee into both of their smug faces, but settled on throwing Itachi’s student card into the Uchiha’s soup, “Tch!” He stood up, ready to leave with his belongings, “You two are such killjoys, un. I’m going back to write my essay.”

“Have fun writing your essay without external help on maths, brat.” After Deidara was out of hearing range, the man in question having exited the hall, Sasori smirked, “Itachi, I bet a penny that he will be on the group chat under half an hour calling for help.”

Itachi grimaced at the piece of plastic floating on the top of his soup, while torn between whether should he scold Deidara or simply settle with his aloof as ever demeanour, “There is no need to bet on something which will assuredly come out fully certain, Sasori. Have you got an afternoon lecture?”

“Yep, and a tutorial after it. Lecture’s on heat and mass transfer, something on modelling macro transport processes from nano, while the tutorial’s on dynamic systems and control. What a nightmare.” Massive disjunctions between the materials of the lecture and tutorials were very common.

The weasel perked up his ears, “If I am not mistaken, is the lecture related to chemical engineering?”

“Even though it is, and I’m a mechanical engineer, that course is a general requirement for engineering students.”

“By the way, Sasori,” Itachi touched the sides of his own head, feeling two pieces of metal stuck on the sides, “I may have forgotten to return Iwa’s hairpins to him. It is a true shame to admit, but I find myself too unmotivated to do so.”

Sasori shrugged in response.

At the same time, Deidara was wandering in the college gardens back to his dormitory. He was fully soaked up in the essay and admiring the blooming clematis which was taken great care by the gardener, not realising he has bumped into somebody else.

“Ow, un! Sorry.”

The person walking into the blond looked straight into him, recognising Deidara by his trademark hair and speech impediment, “Dei! Why are you out here in the middle of the day?”

Deidara squinted from the direct sunlight, “Gari?”

“Bloody right I am.” Gari grinned, “I was thinking of asking you about that essay due three days later.”

“And I’m thinking about it right now, un.” The blond returned with a full grin, as his partner cupped his hand and furiously shook it. “Sasori – no – Danna and Uchiha were being assholes, so I left the hall just now. We could stop by the pantry before going to our afternoon practical.”

“But I thought you were broke! The pantry’s hella expensive.”

The two walked towards the direction of the pantry, “Used to be, un. Someone bought a C2 dragon from my ebay something like half an hour ago, and I’m now all good.”

Gari tried to recall the pricing list which Deidara told him during one of his practicals, “And you made seventy bucks off it?”

“Sure as hell I did. I have quite a reputation on the Superflat fan base, so those enthusiasts are always ready with the money to buy my works. Jokes to the art hating old man Oonoki, un!” Quite the reputation for making controversial statements such as ‘pop is dead’, ‘art is fleeting’, and the eccentric usage of explosives correlated with his motto. The arguments with his greatest art critic on the web, an anonymous person under the name ‘scorpion’, were always a joy to see.

Thirty minutes later, the cheerful two became the opposite of their previous demeanour.

“Shit, un.”

“We’re fucked, Dei.”

“What shall we do now?”

“ _I_ –” Gari emphasised his point as Deidara’s lab and tutorial partner, “should be asking you the same question.” He nearly did a headdesk of his own, just barely managing to resist the urge, “I don’t know. Call Itachi or something, I don’t give a crap. All I care is that will it get the fucking problem solved or not.”

Deidara smirked, “You sound like as if you’ve got a collection to sit tomorrow, un, Gari. If I ask Uchiha about this, all he’s gonna be like is…” The blond putted on a dark yet simultaneously blank expression, staring directly into Gari’s eyes, “Iwa, your question is trivial. You can approximate the single electron as a particle in a three dimensional box and then solve the differential equation by applying the boundary conditions.”

Gari snorted before he complained, pulling his hands down and over his cheeks, “Bullshit, Dei. I hope Itachi is not so much of a theoretician to actually say that out loud. And have you forgot that the essays count towards our final grade? I mean, oh man, Touka’s fucking 1950s architecture brutal at grading. You should’ve seen the comments she wrote on my last time’s problem set.”

“No. But this essay’s due like, three days later. More than enough for me to read the thing up, un. And it’s not until next Monday it’s your turn to write the essays.”

The sculptor’s partner flinched at the thought of essay writing, “You’re such a procrastinator.”

“So are you, un.”

“I guess that’s why we get along?”

“Un.”

In the meantime, before Sasori has departed to the lecture hall as stated on his email, Itachi pulled the puppeteer back, “Sasori.”

Not wanting to arrive late, the redhead snapped back, “What?”

The Uchiha smoothly spoke, calm and collected as ever, “Both of us lost the bet. It is now more than forty – five minutes.”

Sasori waved, “Doesn’t matter. We didn’t bet it in front of the brat, so there are no consequences to us losing.”

“I suppose you are indeed correct. But my conscience does not allow me to stop at this point.”

“As long as your conscience doesn’t drag me into the mud pit, do as you like.”

And so did Itachi paid Deidara a call.

“Iwa.”

“What’s the matter, Uchiha?”

“I have unfortunately forgotten to return your hairpins to you.”

“Oh, great, just great, un.” Deidara sarcastically jabbed, “The mighty Uchiha has forgotten to return my humble hairpins. I’m on my way to a lab with Gari so I won’t be back for a few hours, just drop it at the porters, un.”

Itachi, not knowing what to reply, opted to terminate the call on his end. Hearing this, Deidara swore under his breath, “Fucking Uchiha, un.”

Gari interrupted the sculptor’s path of drowning himself in a desert of unsolicited self – pity, “Alright, we should head to the practical building. Was the practical something about kinetics again?”

“Yeah, un. I mean, I know chemists literally breathe kinetics when they’re working, but hammering kinetics like this is a bit excessive.”

“Burnout, Dei?”

The blond raised a dangerous eyebrow, “What made you think I’m going to burn out on a topic related to my art, un?”

“Hey,” Gari sweated, instantaneously moving a metre out of Deidara’s strike range, “I’m only asking. Chill, dude. You really sound like Sasori with that giant stick up your arse due to Jashin damn me if I know.”

As Deidara flipped through his memories, recalling the study one subject and get two free in chemistry students and only chemistry students, he sighed, nearly collapsing down and onto the paved sidewalk, outer layer of pride melting away.

It was truly a disturbing sight to Gari, seeing his egoistical partner – maybe egoistical was an overexaggeration – lose his bubbliness as if a switch controlling this certain output was flipped to off. The awkwardness after the deal was even worse, when he stood there, in a pathetic attempt to prod useful information out of Deidara by using the following, “Uhm, Dei, you sure you alright?”

Deidara tried on his grin, “No big deal, un. Three more years and it’s over.”

“Over?” Gari nearly screamed, “I heard that doctorates are worse! Man, you should’ve seen the graduation requirements from a group which one of their PhD candidates posted on Twitter. One publication on Nature Chem, one on JACS, and three on Angew or NC or the ACS bunch with a grand total of citations of 200. Only if you have something on N or S you can use it to tune the requirements down.”

The sculptor was stunned wide awake at the news, gaping, “And I suppose Scientific Reports doesn’t count?”

The blond’s lab partner cheerfully said, “Nope! Finally, you’re back to shape, Dei.”

Said person being addressed gritted his teeth, “It’s all because of you giving me the news that my future’s screwed, un.”

Gari continued his lecture on reality, “What? I thought that was common sense for all chemistry students, even without that horrible PhD graduation requirements. Besides, you couldn’t even get a job that fucking pays without a PhD or better a postdoc.” His partner returned him with a constipated expression, clearly wondering if he should pursue a further path on creating his art or enter the chemistry job market.

The weather at the region was often gloomy, yet a rare sunny day happened. Perhaps, if clouds were to mask up intense colours of blue, it would have better fitted Deidara’s feelings. “Fuck, un, I don’t even know what to do. I mean, yeah, I’m invested in art and so, but seeing yourself studying something for four years and then turns out it’s just all trash is… hm!”

“Eh, just wanted to get the common sense out before you consider about whether are you gonna apply for a PhD in the future. That's all. Last year from what I’ve heard, the university faculty were on strike because of pretty much the same reason.”

“Low pay, un?”

“Yep. Professors takes up two positions: as a lecturer and a supervisor, because in this case, they’ll get paid double. Even with the double job, their overall income, after tax and pension and all that shit, is still pretty low. No wonder the lectures are crap.”

“Man,” The sculptor sighed, “sometimes I really want to be a travelling artist.”

Gari placed a comforting hand on Deidara’s back, “I feel the same, bro.”

Deidara widened his eyes and turned around, staring at his lab partner straight in the face, “But you don’t even practice art, un!”


End file.
